I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
