his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
