He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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