At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize