$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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