this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
