Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
