let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
