So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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