just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No subtext here. People are naked.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
