Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
