every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
