we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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