What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
