You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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