How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
