her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
this just has baby written all over it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize