i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize