how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
