how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
