we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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