And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
