well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
