that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
