i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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