halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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