There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
