whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
