a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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