"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
