I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
