At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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