We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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