you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
