I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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