I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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