I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
