i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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