i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
