so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
