i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
