Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
