Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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