Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
