we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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