you traded sex for a burrito?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
