Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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