The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
