...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
