As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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