so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
