i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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