Moan for me like Helen Keller
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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