The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
