I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
