forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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