No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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