is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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